Green's my Favorite Number

Exploring a world I have yet to make sense of and beginning the journey that will someday lead me to Munchkinland.

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My hubby and I have been married for four years and wanted children the day we said "I do." We both have a passion for helping children and cannot wait to have a family of our own. Unfortunately, it isn't as easy as the health teacher said it was...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Day Ja Voooo

Okay. Today was so weird. I didn't get a start on the day until around 11am which is very odd for me. Once I finally deemed myself conscious enough to leave the cozy confines of my tiny room, I managed to get as far as the sofa, changing the channel before settling in, and watching Mythbusters until 4pm (gimme a break we lost the remote).

At 4 I realized that if I was going to accomplish anything it would probably be a good time to start. I talked to a high school friend last night and we had made plans to meet up at their new property where they are laying the foundation on a tall hill we used to go to as thoughtful introspective teenagers pondering the meaning of it all whilst the clouds lazily rolled by. It had rained the night before and the build site was a muddy mess but she called and asked us to stop by their house anyway and perhaps we would stay for band rehearsal too.

Now before I get too far I guess I should explain the significance of this meeting. This friend- we'll call her Sherry just for convenience- had been the only friend that had managed to stick through it all with me. When I was 16 I was assaulted in my room by a complete stranger right after a football game. Needless to say in a small town "Things like that just don't happen" and suddenly I found all of my preschool buddies turning the other way when I walked into a room. Not Sherry. She kept me going. We were inseparable until I moved out two weeks after graduation and she stayed home sheltered from civilization unless you counted the truckstop 15 minutes from her house.

Life weaved its crazy web and she went to school while I married and tried to start a family. We talked from time to time but for some reason things were strained. About a year into my marriage we moved close to my in laws and one day out of the blue I got a call from her. We talked small talk for a bit and then all of a sudden she blurted out how she was sorry and that she had a hard time talking to me because while I had been dealing with scarring from surgeries and the assault and then again when I had married and it was obvious that children would be difficult to acquire she had found herself in a situation not once but twice and had terminated both times. This was like a blow right into my gut. It hurt to know that here I was with my heart's deepest desire being slowly pulled further and further away from me while she was taking for granted what I deemed the most beautiful jewel ever made. I hung up and I think I spoke to her twice after that. Two years later, wounds have been bandaged. They haven't healed but I have bandaged them. I understand that she made a decision and she did what she felt was right for her at that time. I don't have to agree with it but I do need to move on.

Anyhoo, I found myself shaking my head in disbelief as my hubby pulled into her driveway and said "Well are you gonna get out or just stare at her back door?" When I got there, band rehearsal was about to start. I had no clue what to expect. I cannot believe what happened. The first guy that walked in immediately popped his head around the living room door and said "Well hey there!" I knew him immediately. He was infact one of the first to see me when I was born! He had been a family friend for many years. The second guy to come in talked to me for a full five minutes before it dawned on him who I was. I had to fight to hold in my laughter the whole time. We had grown up together in church and in school. He was a couple of years ahead of me but we had done a lot of the same things growing up and I had not seen him since I was in high school. It was funny to see how he acted as an adult and how I fit in to the picture as an adult myself now. When the band started up it was great and I had a chance to sit back and enjoy the past and present all crammed into a tiny living room filled with the rhythm of life. It was like a timeline set before me, from the very beginning, all the way up to the present; and how rare an opportunity to see them all mesh into one for a couple of hours right before my very eyes. My husband, my friend, my childhood, and my meager beginning when hope was bright and life was just starting for my parents. It was a beautiful song that I hope will weave itself back around and somehow create a new chorus with all parts harmonizing together. Time can do amazing things sometimes!

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